We have all had to accept that I am back on the breathing machine again. None of us like this but it is reality for now. Dr. Perez is now talking to us about the possibility of a tracheostomy. When he first tells my mom this she says no. Absolutely not. My parents feel like I have not had a fair chance of breathing on my own. I as well feel like I have been cheated so I am with mom and dad. NO! We will give it another try!
I am feeling better. I was less groggy and much more alert. Today for the first time I looked at my mom and dad! They were so happy. Having been so drugged up my parents could never get to me to look at them. It has been a long time since I have felt good and so today it was a wonderful thing to be able to connect on my parent’s faces and see them smiling at me.
Later that evening my heart rate shot up. My mom has said a few times to the doctors that she thinks something is brewing inside of me. My blood tests are coming back normal. I am showing no signs through my blood of detoriation. Although that mom of mine has a radar that just senses when things are off with me.
My dad has been doing the 8pm till 8am night shift with me. He is noticing that my heart rate has not come down. I am staying at a constant 140 beats per minute if not higher sometimes. In medical words this is like cardiac arrest. Something is just not right. I feel weak and my heart is having to work much harder. All night my heart rate stays high even while I am sleeping. Normally when I am sleeping my heart is between 95 to 110. When I am waking up my heart rate is shooting up to 150/160. My dad is getting very nervous about this as he knows my heart rate is normally much lower. The next thing you know I spike a fever!
With my fever and the heart rate, signs are begining to show that mom was right things are definitely brewing inside of me! I sure hope not! My dad kept on the nurses all night to say that my heart rate was not right and there was something else causing my heart rate to soar.
In the hospital, you begin to notice that nurses and doctors will tell you anything to pacify you in the moment. Thank goodness for my mom and dad as they are my biggest advocated and without them I would not know where I would be!
Love Malia